You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
