get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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