everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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