Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do you have feelings for this penis?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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