she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.