i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancĂ© called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying