Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
