I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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