sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
