I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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