When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
