What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
