Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He did a backflip because drugs
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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