I just pynch a tree in the face
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
