I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
