East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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