in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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