So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my liver is dry heaving
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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