May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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