There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
