I heard we made out
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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