He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
