i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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