I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my being single is dangerous.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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