So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
