i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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