I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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