belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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