dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
