Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize