alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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