well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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