If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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