I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
