party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
