these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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