i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
