As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
