I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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