She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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