Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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