I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
there is glitter all over my balls
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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