If that was your dad, he is hot
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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