I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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