oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
