I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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