How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
