What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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