Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
