Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
