Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
