I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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