how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
