All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
