if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My vagina is officially offended.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
