she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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