8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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