I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
