Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thus making me awesome and them whores
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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